An energy shift

I haven’t written anything in the last three weeks.

No, that’s not true. I just haven’t written anything HERE in the last three weeks.

I’ve actually been doing a lot of other writing. And thinking. And connecting.

I applied to grad school (on an impulse, because that’s what I do when I’m antsy), so I’ve been writing application and scholarship essays.

I’m working on a book (or maybe just a very long article?) about how workplace wellbeing needs to be a cultural shift, not an “add-on” program, and all of the different facets of health and fulfillment and self-agency that need to be considered. Despite all the work I’ve done in this space over the last few years, I still feel like I need to know more, so I’ve been having incredible conversations with brilliant people who’ve been doing this longer than I have, and writing deeply-thoughtful notes, outlines, and theories based on everything I’m (un)learning.

I’ve also been starting to put together my presentation for the Mindful Leader Summit in September, where I’ll be speaking about “Breaking through the Busyness: Integrating Wellbeing into Productivity-driven Cultures.” It’s funny, in a way, because this is both an area I have first-hand experience in, and one I still haven’t yet fully figured out.

So I suppose I have been doing a lot of writing over the past month. It’s just manifesting in some different ways than it has in the past.

I’m excited to share it all here at some point.

For now, I’m still in that magical place of watching it all come together.

It’s been a beautiful few weeks, letting go of some of my “shoulds,” and learning how to ride the ebbs and flows of my energy so that I’m not burning myself out. That’s new territory in itself.

It feels a little like figuring out how to move fluidly between those “too much” and “not enough” states I wrote about in my last post. Except I’m also learning how not to judge either side of that pendulum based on other people’s’ perceptions, or fears, or projections of their own challenges onto how I show up in the world.

Sometimes I’m intense and all-in, and that’s wonderful. Other times I’m more introspective, and quieter, and I need space to just “be” without striving for anything. And that’s wonderful, too.

I’m actually starting to believe that there’s no “between” place to get caught in. That we live in in a continuum of energy, and there’s no right or wrong way to exist within it. Whatever place feels right for me at the time, that’s where I’m going to be.

So this is where I am now. Listening to where my body and heart and mind want to go.

It’s OK if it hasn’t wanted to write here for a while. The pendulum will swing back at some point. For now, I’m going to enjoy being in this magical place of watching it all unfold.