Day 18

On Wednesday, Day 16 of my 50-day script-writing practice, there was more breaking open. So wide that I called out of work for the day, because I needed to be fully present to the cracks, the shards, and the light I was hoping would shine through them. The light that I had to find, to coax, to share.

Two days earlier, on Day 14, I drastically changed my script. It was too long. So many words and visions that I was having trouble sticking to my daily writing practice. In the course of trying to make it shorter, I ended up pivoting the narrative entirely. It went from being about where I want to live, how I want to live, and how I want to feel—to who I want to be. How I want to show up.

But not for anyone else.

For me.

Maybe I had some foresight that this wider breaking-open was coming?

Everything I rewrote, I needed on Wednesday.

I needed yesterday.

I still need today.

Day 18:

I am so happy and grateful now that I’ve remembered my strength, resilience, and light. I’ve reclaimed my sense of self, my voice, and my wisdom that’s always been there. 

I approach hard things openly with courage and faith.

I am more present to my life, and accept whatever I’m experiencing as part of where I’m supposed to be. I know that both my challenges and my joys will teach me and help me grow. I welcome them as guides and as wonders.

I trust that no matter what happens, I will be OK, because I have always been enough. I no longer look to others for definition, comparison, validation, completion, or blame. Just for love and companionship on my journey. 

With this new sense of knowing, I’m able to be more patient and compassionate with myself, and with those around me. I find beauty in holding space for others, and kinship in those who hold space for me.

I am growing more comfortable in my body and soul every day. I feel spacious, awakened, safe, and free. I will keep asking for what I need, honoring my truth, and trusting my path forward. I believe in myself again. I am whole, and I am my home.

I found the light, by the way. Coaxed it in. Shared it. Let its warmth work its magic.

There are still cracks, but for the first time in a while, I think we’ll be stronger on the other side of all this, in whatever new shape we take as we put ourselves back together.